If I propose an equation – that talking to you equals talking to distance, I can show my work and provide proof of an aching gap that divides my questions and your answers. Empty sets, omissions, or the absence of an outside or an inside to our attempt at geometry.
In response to my near whimpers can you measure what it has meant to stand opposite your silence, to throw bits of myself away, away, away? Where do old trapezoids go?
When I asked for evidence that you had heard me you asked for proof that I had spoken. What brought me rage was the presence of zero that close to me - that zero that was me.
Shall we proceed in our fact finding and our measured disclosures of evidence and implication? I am suggesting that there is a less mathematical path - an opportunity to consider an exception, a variable, a reworking of the numbers. My invitation is that we join in a beneficial set of algorithms and recalculate our practiced norm.
April 14, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
While Flying Home
I am in an airplane among many distinct people, all coming from separate starting places, having, by record, no formal connection, when the experience begins:
I feel a warmth enter my body - an intense kiss of pleasure – not mine to keep but like lips full and present - I turn my palms over to inspect my fingers, their tendons and veins, their etched skin. I have an instance where I cherish them.
Instead of retreating I grow quieter - I hear a voice, mine, telling me that though not myself I am still intact- I open as the plane tilts and a low ray of sun pierces the west-facing windows, filling the cabin with west, west, west. Quieter still, I acknowledge that light is reaching out from the core of my body – I want to request a witness to see me and help me understand.
I am calm, still, harmless to self and others. Children and adults continue as before.
I deduce that I have had a private experience, a brief collapse of boundary where I may have sweated and appeared odd to others observing. No one is observing!
I feel urgent in my need to talk to someone, to put into words what I have seen and felt - To my right, a young man presses his call button.
Drinks will arrive in a minute or two.
March 26, 2010
I feel a warmth enter my body - an intense kiss of pleasure – not mine to keep but like lips full and present - I turn my palms over to inspect my fingers, their tendons and veins, their etched skin. I have an instance where I cherish them.
Instead of retreating I grow quieter - I hear a voice, mine, telling me that though not myself I am still intact- I open as the plane tilts and a low ray of sun pierces the west-facing windows, filling the cabin with west, west, west. Quieter still, I acknowledge that light is reaching out from the core of my body – I want to request a witness to see me and help me understand.
I am calm, still, harmless to self and others. Children and adults continue as before.
I deduce that I have had a private experience, a brief collapse of boundary where I may have sweated and appeared odd to others observing. No one is observing!
I feel urgent in my need to talk to someone, to put into words what I have seen and felt - To my right, a young man presses his call button.
Drinks will arrive in a minute or two.
March 26, 2010
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