It began with your smooth brown face
Coming close to mine -
Then your full lips peeling back from big white teeth.
A breath and then a surprise of a question -
Why don’t we start over?
To my many ‘nevers’ and ‘cant’s’ you persisted -
Why say we can’t when we can?
You swept your arm over my head,
A wizard, erasing blots from what came before-
Then you reached out to take my hand
Speaking in dazzling nonsense -
Walk with me, you said.
Our feet will blaze a path bursting with light.
Such lies! I cried.
Not again the stories of the new prince, the next dance,
Tomorrows that don’t collapse into yesterdays,
Grand cabarets that rise up
From whirling dream dervishes in dark bars.
Don’t you know that when you squeeze a sunrise
It just brings shadows?
Please leave me alone!
Still, you did not relent and spoke to my aches.
You tilted your head to the left and whispered to me again -
Just before a flower blooms, a tightness comes.
Fibers built to resist, relent.
Then comes the snap and an opening -
A wet naked moment,
The first touch of what will be.
Your big, white-palmed hands floated near my face
I sat still.
I had no quick joke to push you back,
No restatements of the ‘woulds’ nor the ‘coulds’.
I saw that you would have your way with me
And I would offer you my grateful permission.
November 22, 2009
